Preparing for Pet Wakes

Bentley, my neighbour’s dog, is one of my best friends.   She is 14 now, and I have been preparing for her loss by pre-grieving for years, yet I still feel completely unprepared. In my early twenties, my childhood dog Beethoven was put down at home and then cremated.   It was one of the greatest heartbreaks of my life.   What I appreciate about the idea of a pet wake is the opportunity to spend time processing the loss and caring for their body, in a way that feels similar to how we honor human death.

Over the years, I have had many experiences with deceased animals, both through roadkill and natural encounters.   This began when I was living in Prince Edward Island.   I kept a shovel and gloves in my car, and whenever I came across roadkill, I would put on a high-visibility vest and move the animal to the side of the road to prevent it from being run over repeatedly.

Later, I began encountering animals who had died naturally, bees, mice, birds, even eels.   When this happened, I would dig a small grave in the forest, gather flowers from the garden, and bring sage and water.   I would say a prayer, thanking them for their role in the ecosystem and acknowledging that their life mattered.   The one exception was with the eel.   I laid it out on a wooden stub with flowers around it, as an offering for a bald eagle that lived on that coast.   It came by a few hours later to scoop it up.

But yes, decorating their resting place has been a creation of beauty, and for me, a way to show love and respect.

These rituals have grounded me in the importance of honoring life through acknowledging death.   Because of this, the idea of offering the same care and intention to a beloved pet feels especially meaningful.

At the same time, part of me wants to keep Bentley’s remains.   Then I remember a Buddhist teaching: the stronger the attachment, the stronger the suffering.   It leaves me feeling conflicted.   I dread the day she passes, but trust that she will be in good hands, our hands.

I believe that handling a pet’s body with love and intention is such an act of love, how can we return the deep unconditional love that pets bring into our lives?   I feel a lifetime of debt to Bentley and all of her teachings.   So yes, ceremonies and memorials can be incredibly supportive, especially when grief feels overwhelming or when a loss is sudden, which is why home-centered rituals feel especially comforting to me.

July 2026, Brittany Talarico ~ By My Heart and Hand graduate